Reasons for adoption
Adoptions occur for many reasons. Many
children are placed for adoption as a result of the biological
parents' decision that they are unable to adequately care for a
child. In some countries, where single motherhood may be
considered scandalous and unacceptable, some women in this
situation make an adoption plan for their infants. In some
cases, they abandon their children at or near an
orphanage,
so that they can be adopted.
Some biological parents involuntarily
lose their parental rights. This usually occurs when the
children are placed in
foster care
because they were abused, neglected or abandoned. Eventually, if
the parents cannot resolve the problems that caused or
contributed to the harm caused to their children (such as
alcohol
or
drug abuse),
a court may terminate their parental rights and the children may
then be adopted.
Only a small percentage of adopted
children are those
orphaned
because of the death of their biological parents.
In some cases, parents' rights have
been terminated when their ethnic or cultural group has been
deemed unfit by the controlling government.
Aboriginal Peoples
in
Australia
were affected by such policies, as were
Native Americans
in the
United States
and
Canada.
Moreover, unwed mothers in many countries still are often
pressured or forced by families, religious bodies or governments
into relinquishing their children for adoption. These practices
of the past have become emotionally-charged social and political
issues in recent years.
The main reason for adopting varies
from one country to the next, depending largely on social and
legal structures. The inability to reproduce biologically is a
common reason. The most prevalent obstacle to producing a
biological child is
infertility.
Another obstacle is the lack of a partner of the opposite sex or
a lack of desire to use a
surrogate
or
sperm donor.
Single people and same-sex couples often adopt for this reason.
In many Western countries,
step-parent
adoption is the most common form of adoption as people choose to
cement a new family following
divorce
or death of one parent.
Some couples or individuals adopt
children even though they are fertile. Some may choose to do
this in order to avoid contributing to perceived
overpopulation,
or out of the belief that it is more responsible to care for
otherwise parent-less children than to reproduce. Others may do
so to avoid passing on inheritable diseases (e.g.,
Tay-Sachs disease),
or out of health concerns relating to pregnancy and childbirth.
Others believe that it is an equally valid form of family
building, neither better than nor worse than biology.
Applying to adopt
National Adoption Week
is used in the
United Kingdom
to encourage new adopters to come forward
Methods of becoming an adoptive parent
also vary from one country to another, and sometimes within a
country, depending on region. Many jurisdictions have varying
eligibility criteria, and may specify such things as minimum and
maximum age limits, whether a single person or only a couple can
apply, or whether it is possible or not for a
same sex
couple to apply.
In some countries, applications must be
made to a state agency or agencies responsible for adoption.
There may also be private, licensed adoption agencies, who may
operate either on a commercial or non-profit basis. Agencies may
operate only domestically, or may offer
international adoptions,
or may facilitate both. Some jurisdictions allow lawyers to
arrange private adoptions, and some allow private facilitators
to operate.
On applying to adopt, the potential
adoptive parent's will generally be assessed for suitability.
This can take the form of a home study, interviews, and
financial, medical and criminal record checks. In some
jurisdictions, such studies must be carried out by an
independent or state authority, while in others, they can be
carried out by the adoption agency itself. A pre-adoption course
may also be required.
Infants
are more commonly sought than
toddlers
or older children, and many adoptive parents seek to adopt
children of the same race. As a result, governments, as well as
agencies, actively seek families who are interested in adopting
older children and children with
special needs.
Cost of adoption
Adoption costs & assistance vary
between countries. In many countries, it is illegal to charge
for an adoption, while in others, adoptions must be facilitated
on a non-profit basis. On the other hand many adoption
programmes will give financial assistance to adopters,
especially with their expenses. Some jurisdictions offer
tax credits
to offset the cost of adoption.
Where there are charges for adoption
there is often controversy, even in the case of non-profit
agencies. Regulations may also specify to whom payments may or
may not be made, e.g., in some jurisdictions, no money may be
paid to a birth mother above her medical expenses.
International adoptions tend to be more
expensive and often incur additional costs, as the adoptive
parent's may be required to travel to the source country.
Translation fees will also apply to legal documents.
[
Adoption numbers
This is a list of adoptions recorded
(alphabetical, by country) in recent years.
| Country |
Adoptions |
Notes |
| Australia |
443 (2003-2004)
[2] |
includes known relative
adoptions |
| Ireland |
263 (2003)
[3] |
92 non-family adoptions; 171
family adoptions (e.g. step-parent). 459 international
adoptions were also recorded. |
| Norway |
791 (2004)
[4] |
124 of these were national
adoptions, including step-child adoptions. The rest were
international adoptions, mainly from China (269), South
Korea (93) and Colombia (86). |
|
United Kingdom |
3,700 (2004) |
|
|
United States |
approx 127,000 (2001)
[5] |
|
Issues surrounding adoption
The number of children available for
adoption inside Western nations has dropped considerably in
recent years, partly because of the legalization of
abortions,
and partly because of the increased acceptance of single
parenthood.
Preserving an adopted child's heritage
has become a central issue in adoption over the last fifteen
years. It is often assumed that adopting babies at a very young
age (1-2 months) bears no emotional consequences for the child.
In the past, many adoption professionals believed that because
most people have no recollection of their own birth, an adopted
baby would not have a childhood any different than if he or she
were raised by their biological parents. However, while some
adoptees do not feel that adoption has raised any special
problems or difficulties for them, others report that adoption
has posed certain challenges. Some adoptees report that that
they were made to feel - consciously or not - as if they should
forever 'be grateful' to have been 'chosen'. Others report that
they were told they were "special," but soon came to realize
that most people are not motivated to adopt by any perception
that adopted children are preferable to biological children.
Still others report being told that "your mother gave you to us
because she loved you", but soon became aware that in closed
adoptions, the adoptive parents and the legal system may both
assume that the birth parents no longer wish to see the child.
This leads some adopted people to wonder whether their natural
parents ever loved them, or whether their adoptive parents can
be trusted to tell the truth. This kind of ambiguity in
adoption, along with the strongly emotionally charged nature of
the subject, can make it difficult for adoptees to feel free to
discuss their own issues honestly, for fear of being ungrateful,
hurting their adoptive parents' feelings, raising subjects they
sense are
taboo
(such as the adoptive parents' true reasons for adopting,
especially if this involves infertility) or incurring rejection.
Recent work on openness in adoption has
attempted to address these issues. Researchers such as Joyce
Maguire Pavao and others have advised all three sides of the
adoption triad (birthparents, adoptive parents, and adoptees) on
how to establish healthy relationships, and make it easier for
adopted people to discuss their feelings and maintain meaningful
contact with both genetic and adoptive families. These efforts
are relatively recent, and full openness, while on the upswing,
is still not the norm in adoption.
International adoptees face additional
challenges. It has been argued that children adopted through
international adoptions
are best served when adoptive families commit to integrating the
child's birth nation
cultures,
traditions,
stories,
languages
and
relationships.
Some countries now require adoptive parents to keep the birth
names of their adoptive children, and many adoptive parents
choose to do this as it makes sense in helping their child
develop a strong
sense of self.
This can be very difficult to do in a meaningful way, especially
for adoptive families who are not themselves experienced
cross-culturally.
Another issue for prospective adoptive
parents to be aware of is
reactive attachment disorder
(RAD). Many children, especially those beyond infancy in system
care (e.g. foster, orphanage), domestic or foreign, develop this
disorder due to the early trauma of loss, and/or lack of a
primary caregiver.
For all adopted people in adoptions
where information about the family of origin is withheld,
secrecy may disrupt the process of forming an
identity.
Family concerns regarding
genealogy
can be a source of confusion
[6].
Adoption is problematic for some
birthparents. When a parent chooses to place the child with
adoptive parents, the process of separation can be difficult for
all parties. Those emotional difficulties may carry on for many
years past the date of the adoption, with families of origin
missing and longing for the children they have placed.
Adoption may also pose lifelong
difficulties for adoptive parents. Charting a course among the
various schools of thought about openness, maintaining a child's
connection to his or her family of origin, answering a child's
difficult questions, and helping a child deal with birthparents
who may not maintain regular contact are all issues that
adoptive families may struggle with. For anyone involved in
adoption--birthparent, adoptive parent or adoptee--there are no
hard and fast rules about how to build appropriate relationships
that are in the child's best interest.
Adoption in the schools
Adoption rights
organizations
have long focused on issues such as the adoptee’s right to
access his or her birth information, including names of birth
parents and birth family medical information. They also focus on
improving classroom sensitivity
to adoption issues. Familiar lessons like "draw your
family tree"
or "trace your eye color back through your parents and
grandparents to see where your genes come from" can be hurtful
to children who are adopted and do not know this biological
information. New lesson plans can be substituted easily, that
focus on "family orchards" or steer away from personal medical
histories. Discussions about these sensitive topics, advocates
argue, are the same as those we’ve conducted around issues of
disability,
race, and
gender,
and foster respect for differences in the same way as these
earlier national conversations.
Adoption in the media
Adoption experts complain that too much
of the media coverage of adoption goes to one extreme or the
other. Much of the coverage of adoption presents stories of
failed adoptions and troubled children, adoption scandals, even
"baby buying"; on the other side are saccharine stories of
“perfect” children and families. Only a very few programs have
treated the subject in a serious way and in its full breadth.
Even when stories are balanced, ignorance about adoption leads
to
negative presentations
including the widespread representation of children in
foster care
as being so troubled that it would be impossible to adopt them
and create “normal” families. The result is that many children
who would thrive in a loving family instead wait years in foster
care, and even “age out” of the system at 18 without a family. A
2004 report from the Pew Commission on Children in Foster Care
has shown that the number of children waiting in foster care
doubled since the 1980s and now remains steady at about a
half-million a year."[7]
Adoption in the wake of disasters
While adoption is often the best way to
provide stable, loving families for children in need, adoption
in the immediate aftermath of trauma or upheaval may not be the
best option. Disasters like hurricanes, tsunamis, and wars teach
us the importance of knowledge about adoption. In these
situations there is often an outpouring of offers to adoption
agencies from adults who want to give homes to the children left
in need. However,
new research
suggests that once we understand the needs of children and
families we look at adoption in the wake of disaster
differently. Traumatized children need time to adjust, in the
most familiar environments available, before they should be
placed. Moving them too quickly into new adoptive homes among
strangers may be a mistake: with time, it may turn out that the
parents have survived but simply been unable to find the
children, or there may be a relative or neighbor who can offer
shelter and homes. Safety and emotional support may be better
provided in those situations than relocation to a new adoptive
family.
Adoption reform
Two important influences on the reform
of voluntary infant adoption have been
Nancy Verrier
and
Florence Fischer.
[8].
Verrier describes the "primal wound" as the "devastation which
the infant feels because of separation from its natural mother.
It is the deep and consequential feeling of abandonment which
the baby adoptee feels after the adoption and which continues
for the rest of his life.
[9]"
In some cases, however, the separation
of the parent/child bond is necessary to protect the child. For
children who have been neglected or abused, adoption is often
necessary to ensure stability and the opportunity to bond with a
new family in an emotionally healthy way. Where, in the past,
neglected or abused children were often kept in foster care for
many years while birthparents attempted to resolve issues of
addiction, domestic violence, or mental illness, new theories of
social work now encourage government agencies to move quickly to
free such children for adoption and to find them new, permanent
homes. This new philosophy is enshrined in the United States in
the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997, a law aimed at
preventing foster care drift. By keeping children from bouncing
from foster home to foster home, state agencies now hope to
preserve children's abilities to trust and attach, and hence to
maintain and improve their mental health.
Reunion
Many adopted people and natural parents
who were separated by adoption have a desire to reunite. In
countries which practice confidential adoption, this desire has
led to efforts to open sealed records. In the United States, for
example, there are organizations such as the
Adoption reunion registry
and
Bastard Nation,
which seeks to establish the right of adopters to access their
sealed records.
Adoptism
Adoptism is a prejudice against
adoption defined by several beliefs:
- The belief that adoption is not a
legitimate way to build a family
- The belief that birthing children
is always preferable to adopting
- The belief that making an adoption
plan is never a preferable option for birth mothers who are
unable or choose not to raise their children
Adoption.com library definition of
Adoptism:
[10]
Language of adoption
The language used in adoption is
changing and evolving, and has become something of a
controversial issue. Two distinct styles of language have
arisen, commonly known as "Positive Adoption Language"[11]
and "Honest Adoption Language."[12]
The controversy arises over the use of terms which, while
designed to be more appealing or less offensive to one "side" of
the adoption triad of adopted person, birth/bioligical/first/natural
parent, and adoptive parent, may simultaneously cause offense or
insult to one of the other sides.
Positive Adoptive Language (PAL)
The reasons for its use: In many cultures, adoptive families
face adoptism. Adoptism is made evident in English speaking
cultures by the prominent use of negative or inaccurate language
describing adoption. To combat adoptism, many adoptive families
encourage positive adoption language. The reasons against its
use: Many birth parents see "positive adoption language" as
language which glosses over painful facts they face as they go
into the indefinite post-adoption period of their lives. Some
birth parents feel PAL has become a way to present adoption in
the friendliest light possible, in order to obtain even more
infants for adoption; ie, a marketing tool. These people refer
to PAL as "Adoption Friendly Language" or AFL.
Honest Adoption Language (HAL)
The reasons for its use: Some natural parents prefer that we use
"Honest Adoption Language" (HAL), as they believe these terms
more accurately reflect the hidden and/or ignored realities of
adoption as it applies to them. The reasons against its use: The
term "Honest" implies that all other language used in adoption
is dishonest.
Terms used in Positive Adoption
Language:
|
Non-preferred: |
Preferred: |
Reason for preference: |
|
your own child |
birth child |
Saying a birth child is your own
child or one of your own children implies that an
adopted child is not. |
|
child is adopted |
child was adopted |
Some adoptees believe that their
adoption is not their identity, but is an event that
happened to them. ("Adopted" becomes a participle rather
than an adjective.) Others contend that "is adopted"
makes adoption sound like a disability to be overcome. |
|
give up for adoption |
place for adoption or
make an adoption plan |
"Give up" implies a lack of value.
The preferred terms are more emotionally neutral. |
|
real mother/father/parent |
birth, biological or genetic
mother/father/parent |
The use of the term "real" implies
that the adoptive family is artificial, and is not as
descriptive. |
|
your adopted child |
your child |
The use of the adjective 'adopted'
signals that the relationship is qualitatively different
from that of parents to birth children. |
Terms used in Honest Adoption
Language:
|
Common Term: |
Honest Term: |
Reason for preference: |
|
birth mother |
original, or natural mother or
parent OR mother OR parent.
|
The term "birth" mother limits a
woman's role in her child's life to the birth, casting
her in the role of incubator or breeder. With reunion
now an everyday event women are finding themselves
involved in the lives of their children in many ways,on
a spectrum that runs from casual contact through
friendship all the way to reintegrating their children
into their original families. A powerful view,
especially held by those in
Ireland
who cared for their children before being forced to
relinquish them to adoption, is that the term 'birth'
mother implies that they only served as a brood mare
when in fact they often raised and cared for their
children for up to two years.[13]
The "b" word is a dehumanizing term. It also implies
that the relationship between mother and child has been
severed permanently, which is no longer a given,
especially since the advent of open adoption.
|
|
give up for adoption |
surrender for adoption |
"Give up" implies a lack of value,
whereas the truth is that most women wish to raise their
own child. HAL acknowledges that past adoption practice
facilitated the taking of children for adoption, often
against their mother's expressed wishes. Many women who
have gone through the process and who lost children to
adoption believe that social work techniques used to
prepare single mothers to sign Termination Of Parental
Rights papers closely resembles a psychological war
against motherhood as nature has mandated it; hence the
term "surrender."
[14]
HAL agrees that "Make a plan" and "Place" are more
emotionally neutral, but fundamentally dishonest terms
which marginalize or deny the wrenching emotional event
of separation on the mother/child dyad. |
|
real mother/father/parent |
mother/father/parent |
Possible modifiers for the
parental role include: real, legal, adoptive, first,
original, natural. No modifiers are needed for the
individual who gives birth; this person has been
referred to as "mother" since time immemorial. |
|
adopted child |
adopted person or person who was
adopted |
The use of the adjective 'adopted'
signals that the relationship is qualitatively different
from that of parents to birth children. The use of the
word "child" is accurate up until the end of childhood.
After that the continued use of the word "child" is
infantilizing. |
Variations in adoption
Adoption need not always entail
assuming the title of "mother" and/or "father" to an orphaned
child. Traditionally in
Arab
cultures if a child is adopted he or she does not become a “son”
or “daughter,” but rather a
ward of
the adopting caretaker's. The child’s family name is not changed
to that of the adopting parent's and his or her “guardians”
are publicly known as such. Legally, this is close to other
nations'
foster caring
but often with closer parental feelings.
In
Korean
culture, adoption almost always occurs when another family
member (sibling or cousin) gives a male child to the first-born
male
heir of
the family. Adoptions outside the family are rare. This is also
true to varying degrees in other Asian societies.
On the other hand, in many African
cultures, children are regularly exchanged among families for
the purpose of adoption. By placing a child in another family's
home, the birth family seeks to create enduring ties with the
family that is now rearing the child. The placing family may
receive another child from that family, or from another. Like
the reciprocal transfer of brides from one family to another,
these adoptive placements are meant to create enduring
connections and social solidarity among families and lineages
(see
Copyrights
for details).